Shirdi Sai Baba Prayers From Anonymous Sai Devotee from India: I am an engineering dropout who lives in South India. Due to problems I am facing currently I don't want to reveal my identities.

First of all I am going to tell that I am losing faith in God for the problems my family is facing. My parents worship Shirdi Sai Baba. They faced lot of struggles in their career and still facing. They believe that God will change our fate for sure. I studied very well up to 10th class. Every one praised my parents for the way they grew me with such discipline. They were proud about their parenting. They didn't bother about financial crisis. They pinned all hopes on me. I have a sister too. She is brilliant. So my parents thought that their problems will vanish if we attain good jobs. But don't know what happened to me. I discontinued in my inter 1st year as I was unable to bear the pressure. My parents wept in tears for my behaviour. Then every relative blamed my parents and made fun of me. I got treatment for severe depression. Lakhs of money was poured for my treatment. After 8 months I joined in diploma course. I thought this opportunity as Sai blessings. I started praying very sincerely. I was very happy during those three years. Scored good percentage. I wrote engineering entrance and got seat in a college. Due to all these good things my faith in God increased. I was flying high as my parents hopes were coming true.

I went to college. Within few days I came to know that I was not fit for the college. It was very difficult to understand classes. I said same thing to my friends. Some of them told me to take it easy. Prepare only before exams. I too thought that what they said was correct. But I feared. I became coward to face faculty. I started bunking college with fear. Don't know what happened to me. I gradually got into the pressure as same like in inter. I prayed Baba to give me courage and wisdom. Every night I prayed that I should go to college without fear. But I couldn't. I stuck to my room only. As a result I was detained. My father pleaded college authorities not to detain me. They denied it. The college students were so rash. May be that was the reason I feared. Faculty also did not punish them. They were allowed for exams even without 20% attendance. I thought that faculty might understand my situation and help me. But they detained me. My parents cried for many days. I too, for my stupid mind.

After some days my parents stopped bothering about my studies and supported me. They always say do what you like and who knows how the destiny was planned. They didn't blame me. I started preparing for jobs. I convinced my mind that everything will be fine in future. But one day I suddenly got negative feelings on God. I scolded every God. I tore the photos of every God. For the first time my parents scolded me. They shouted at me that we should maintain patience. They told me how they were leading life with all pressures and but never blamed God. I calmed down myself. After one week I again started believing that God will help us. I started Sai parayan for first time. After that I did parayan many times. Again one day due to some problems to our family I scolded Gods. Again all phenomena repeated. After some days I again believed in God. But recently my madness went to peaks that I kicked all God photos and even Baba’s idol. I shouted to my parents that don't believe in these stupids. These Gods will only help the riches and protect only criminals. I made this ruckus only after coming to know that people who committed crimes (my relatives and some of my family friends who cheated us) are living happily. They are living their lives as per their wishes. They were getting everything. On the other side my parents struggling hard to meet the basic needs. I know that I am not doing anything for my family. My behaviour always hurts my parents. Why do my parents only have all these struggles? They pinned hopes on me. But I turned like psycho. See all, that my intention is my parents should be happy. Why should they suffer with me? Can't any God control my mind. If they were gifted with some other guy they would be definitely be happy by this time. I am feeling guilty for my behaviour. Many times I thought to commit suicide so that my parents will be freed from my torture. But if I do so I knew that my relatives would blame my parents. I am a looser. I am failure. I beat my parents in anger. And closed my room door and wept for my behaviour. I am not able control my anger. Until diploma I was very humble person. Why did I turn like this? What happened to me. I knew I will be punished in future for my sins (beating parents, kicked Gods photos). But all I want right now is my parents should be happy. I am short tempered psycho. All my relatives who committed many sins are living happily and their children settled in good position. My innocent parents suffering with me. Still they are hoping good and have kept their belief in God. Please God do good to my parents and my sister. Punish me.



© Shirdi Sai Baba Prayers

7 Responses:

  1. "Why can't God control my mind?". This was your question right? Then let me tell you one sentence. Remember it for your whole life. GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES. In your case you know what you are doing is wrong. Then y r u even doing the same thing again and again. YOUR LIFE IS IN YOUR HANDS. You can change your life in a single second if you wish. Don't say things like I'm a dull student, I can't study etc. THE MOST RESILIENT (STRONGEST) THING EVER BUILT IS 'HUMAN WILL'. Will means desire. In your case it is the desire to succeed. Take a firm decision today, in this very moment that 'I PROMISE TO MAKE THE REST OF MY LIFE THE BEST OF MY LIFE'. Parents are Gods on earth. It is your duty to respect them and take good care of them. The first step I suggest you is watching a Hollywood movie 'The pursuit of Happiness' and ALSO some inspirational videos on YouTube. They will fill you with positive energy. Then take some time and think about your career what you want to do with your life. See lakhs of people eat, sleep, gossip, harm others and die. Such a life is useless. Human life is most precious. There should be some difference between the dog on the street and us. Live life with a purpose. Read Satcharitra and ask Baba to show you the purpose of your life. Do something on your part to the society. Eve if you are the richest man on the earth if u r not a good son, caring husband and a responsible father you are nothing but a useless creature. May Baba bless you

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  2. Studying for exams in the last minute is a very bad idea

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  3. AS GOD COULD NOT BE PRESENT EVERYWHERE,HE CREATED PARENTS AND YOU ARE BEATING YOUR PARENTS AND KICKING GOD IDOLS.I THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE FOREMOST TRUST FIRST ON YOURSELF AND GOD.IF YOU DONT TRUST YOURSELF HOW CAN BABA HELP YOU.SAI...SAI...

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  4. Firstly, try meditation or go and seek medical help. There's no wrong in it.
    Secondly, stop worrying and thinking about others and how their lives are.
    Thirdly, Ask Baba for pardon and believe that He will do you and your family good.

    Your parents are right, you need to have faith and patience. That's what Baba also says.

    May He bless you and yours with health and happiness.

    Jai Sairam
    Sharma

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  5. Dear .. all are facing problems.. baba kv apko udas nai krnge.. ye bura waqt v tal jaega ... Better h ki ap ye bure tym m v god m vishwas rakho plz.. m apke lye dua mangti hu ki apke. Sare prblm solve ho jae..

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  6. May God forgive you and bless you but remeber one thing you are not a looser, not a failiure, you are not able to see the truth that's why you are facing these problems if you have read read shree SAI satchritra, there is a verse that jiva,vishwa & God all are one always remember. No matter what happens keep your faith unshakable maybe you are facing these problems because of lack of shradha and saburi always remember that you are not weak you just don't know yourself there is God himself dwelling in you. Good Luck for future

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