Dear all, I am a strong devotee of Baba and came across this blog a couple of weeks ago as I am going through a very difficult probably the worst phase of my life. Needless to say, reading Baba's miracles and leelas has been extremely instrumental in giving me a ray of hope in these turbulent times. But still sometimes I lose hope and start questioning myself whether or not I will survive and will come out of this phase. I used to consider myself God's favourite child because despite having a difficult life, I always felt He was there to help me in some or other form. I am a sensitive and emotional person who always puts others before herself and am ready to do anything to bring a smile on people's face. Never in my life have I humiliated on run anyone down or treated people badly. But despite been called a good soul, I am going through a lot since last 10 years. I have been very good in academics and had a good education and still could not get a job. Whenever I wanted to join a company, some impediment would come in my way and did not get those jobs. This happened with me a couple of times. Despite qualifying every round the end result always turned out to be against me. I only ended up comforting myself that may be those jobs were not in my destiny.
Last year, I did a small stint at a company. When I joined I had big dreams in my eyes and hopes. But all changed in a month and everything just turned out to be against me. Despite doing everything right and never treating anyone badly, people in my workplace used to bully and humiliate me every now and then. But even this did not deter me and I continued. But as I was not adequately paid and my sincerity towards work was taken for granted, I decided to quit.
Once I quit I faced even more problems both at professional and personal level. Within a span of a couple of months an optimistic person who loved life to the core started contemplating giving upon it. I was not new to struggle and always kept strong but this time I could see everything just going down like a stack of cards. Everytime I look for answers on this site, the one sign that I get quite often from Baba is that it is past births’ karma. In this lifetime I have not caused this pain and suffering to anyone. Then why am I suffering so much as my health is deteriorating with each passing day. I sometimes feel I am no longer the same person I used to be as I have not seen my smile in last 6 months and am only crying. What is it that I can do to alleviate my sufferings and the anxiety that I have developed? I want to enjoy life like I used to, make my family happy and they too are suffering because they can not see me like this. I love Sai Baba immensely and am praying to Him to keep me strong like He always did but sometimes I too become weak and feel like giving up. But even in those times a part of me wants to hold on and wants to come out stronger by fighting against all odds. If possible do pray for me and let me know what can I do to bring my passion for life back. Thank You. Sai Sai Sai Sai Sai Sai Sai Sai Sai.
© Shirdi Sai Baba Prayers